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Control your emotions and reduce anxiety without therapy

Frank Healy Licensed Professional Counselor, Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory Associates For Life Enhancement

Do you get sad, or angry, or worry about things excessively? Have you ever felt tired of feeling miserable? This article will show you ways to let go of feelings that you do not want to hold on to but can’t seem to let go of. Doing this will help you reduce feelings of unexpected anxiety, sadness, anger, and worry, so that you can learn to live in the present moment and enjoy your life.


Do take some deep breaths

The simplest way to relax your body and mind is to take deep breaths. When you take a deep breath it relaxes every system of your body, including heart rate, nerves, digestion, and even respiratory. Every unhappy feeling, including sadness, anxiety, and anger puts a strain on every system in your body. Consequentially, when you relax the feeling goes away. You may not want to take a long dramatic deep breath when you are out in public, however, quiet and slow deep breaths can be taken and they do not attract unwanted attention.

Do understand that you do not have to stay upset

People hold on to feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety for various reason that they may not be aware. Someone who lost a friend, family member, or lover will think they have to stay sad all of the time because it is the only way they can still feel connected to the person. However, you can still dwell on the good memories and concentrate on what you still have in your life. You don’t have to be sad for the entire day. People stay angry and anxious for fear of being blindsided by a catastrophe. The problem with that is that they get the bad feeling before anything has happened.

Do redirect your thoughts to something more pleasant

You have the ability to decide what you want to think about. When you get upset you can decide to think about something more pleasant. If you are a parent, you know that when your child throws a temper tantrum you can redirect him/her to a favorite toy and make them feel better. Adults can do this without the assistance of others. Just choose to think of something else that is more pleasant and within minutes you will feel better.

Do talk to someone who makes you feel good

Have you ever noticed that you feel good when you talk to some people and drained when you talk to others? Choose a friend or a family member whom you have a good rapport with, and give them a call when you are feeling down. Avoid speaking with people who make you feel drained.

Do indulge in an enjoyable but harmless activity

Watch a favorite DVD, listen to music or read a favorite novel. Sit out in the sun (but remember to wear sunscreen) or take a warm bath. When you are feeling drained and down, the best thing you can do is take some time to enjoy yourself. As long as you aren’t excessively drinking, doing drugs, or doing something that could be potentially harmful to you. You will notice that when you are able to relax and enjoy yourself, your emotions will become much more stable.


Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself

Sometimes people feel guilty if they do not feel a certain way in a situation. For example, most of us have been taught to be sad when someone is sick, anxious before a test or work challenge, and angry about poor service. There is nothing wrong with you if you do not react to a situation the way people think you should. And there is nothing wrong with doing something just for your own enjoyment.

Do not think that you need to feel sorry for someone in distress

You do not have to feel sorry for someone to prove you care about them. Sometimes you can be more helpful to a sick or troubled person if you don’t cry or look sad. In fact, they will most likely consider you more able to help them.

Do not think anger makes you more powerful

Some people believe that anger makes you win arguments and overpower the other person. The truth is that anger puts you out of control. The person who stays calm is at the advantage. If you get angry, use the techniques mentioned in this article to calm down.

Do not tell yourself not to feel the way you do

Have you ever had someone tell you to calm down, or don’t get angry, sad, or scared? You probably felt worse and if you were angry you felt angrier. Don’t command yourself to stop feeling how you feel. That will make it worse. Just take deep breaths and redirect your thoughts to something more pleasant.

Jumping cartoon

This article teaches you basic ways to stop feeling the way you do not want to feel. It also helps you to accept your thoughts as they are, so that you are able to move past them, control your emotions, and be OK with the way you are and what you feel. Take deep breaths whenever you feel like you are getting out of control, and reach out to a loved one who makes you feel better.

More expert advice about Anxiety and Stress

Photo Credits: Relax by Flickr: avatar_lv; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas -

Frank HealyLicensed Professional Counselor, Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory

Frank Healy is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of New Jersey. He counsels people with depression and anxiety. He has Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory. He remembers every day of his life since he was six years old. This incl...

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