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Expert advice on meditation and how it can improve your relationship

Bill Farr Author, "The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships" www.TheArtofUnity.com
Expert advice on meditation and how it can improve your relationship

More and more people are realizing the benefits of meditation and finding spirituality in their own way. Becoming more in tune with spiritually doesn’t always mean enormous life changes, it can include just becoming more in touch with appreciation of the moment you are in and all that it offers you, or what is known as mindfulness.

One of the best ways to find this appreciation is through quieting your mind using meditation. This can be done anywhere you feel comfortable by just relaxing for ten minutes a day. Although there are many different ways to meditate, the easiest is to just sit quietly with your eyes closed while focusing on your breath. The purpose of focusing on your breath allows you the ability to release the thoughts in your mind. The simplest form of meditation, such as simple breathing with eyes closed, is often the most powerful.

Meditating with your intimate partner can also be an incredibly connective experience. It is a way to enhance your relationship on a whole new level. There are many couples’ meditations that can be found with an internet search, but all the benefits will be achieved just by sitting and relaxing together. From this position you can think of the things you are appreciative of, visualize the happiness you would like for your relationship, or just focus on your breath. That is because meditation raises your level of compassion, raises your vibration bringing more positive things into your life, and allows a closer connection in the magnetic field of your heart, as proven by research from the Institute of HeartMath at Stanford University. Achieving this higher level of compassion through meditation, is a shortcut to a complementary relationship.
 


Do

Do be committed to what you are doing

Consistency is what will allow for positive change through meditation. A quiet mind might not happen overnight, but slowly over time you will notice many positive changes.

Do try different meditations

If your thoughts are too much for your level of patients, and simple breathing doesn’t motivate you, try relaxing music, the sounds of nature or a soothing voice of a person guiding you. This will help get the thoughts out of your head.

Do sit comfortably

More important that sitting in a yoga or Indian style position, is that you are comfortable. Laying down is even okay, but know that you will probably go to sleep, so I prefer my students are upright but if sleep is your objective, laying down will work.

Do allow yourself to be a beginner

Just like going to the gym or playing a new sport, you don’t expect to be great at it right away. Quieting your mind is no different. Just like a muscle, your abilities will become better and better with time.

Do practice being in the moment

Even when you are not meditating, finding appreciation is a small form of meditation and will bring you more happiness.


Don't

Do not try to become the next guru

Often people try to profess the importance of spirituality and meditation after one week of practicing. This is more of a turn-off to spirituality for many people. There is more than enough information out there on how to find this path without becoming a recruiter. Mention your good experience, don’t try to teach or force it on anyone else.

Do not be turned off

Just because some of the people who are considered spiritual or meditate often are less than genuine, job less, not successful, dress funny, or just weird in general. Try not to be judgmental, there are people from all walks of life who practice spirituality and meditation.

Do not be hard on yourself

Being hard on yourself includes everything between if you have a bad meditation and your thoughts are racing, if you miss a meditation, or despite all your positive thoughts, you still lose your temper with someone. Even master meditators have all these same issues. The idea is to relieve stress, not create more through judgments or expectations.

Do not be judgmental of your partner’s progress

Don’t become “holier than thou” just because you found an interest in spirituality before he/she did. Encourage your partner’s progress but don’t force it; as your passion grows so will your partner’s.

Do not have too high of expectations

People who expect to have an interplanetary experience or enlightenment often quit in a very short time. The benefits are proven, even if you don’t notice them yourself.


Summary
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Meditation, being mindful, and appreciative will improve all aspects of your life and relationship. Just like going to the gym, the most important thing is to start and be consistent, and all the benefits will be there for you.


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Photo Credits: Enlightenment by Flickr: Hartwig HKD; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas - Fotolia.com

Bill FarrAuthor, "The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships"

Billy Farr is the author of, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships,” a wellness coach, an instructor in various forms of martial arts and meditation and a former kickboxing champion and professional Argentine Tango dancer. As...

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