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How to put the sizzle in your sex life regardless of your age

Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW Psychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Author, Speaker, National Radio and Television Expert Guest and Radi ASK BEATTY: Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW
How to put the sizzle in your sex life regardless of your age

No matter your age, you deserve to have a healthy sex life. But before you can have a healthy sex life, you have to be in a good place emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Ensuring that you and your partner are healthy will help to strengthen your relationship as a married or unmarried couple, and improve the quality of life for the both of you. Asking a sex therapist or medical professional that specializes in sexual health is a good option to consider if you and your mate are having problems in the bedroom. Here is some advice to help you and your partner enhance your sex life, no matter your age or state in life.


Do

Do know if you are in a good place

Are you in a good place emotionally, psychologically, psychiatrically and physically? Before we can have a satisfying relationship and sex life, we need to be OK. We all need to deal with the skeletons in our closest, including: untreated depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, early child sexual abuse, anorexia, bulimia, substance abuse of every kind, pain with intercourse, etc. Anything that interferes with the quality of our lives and our relationships, we must be sure that we are OK with our mental and physical well being. Only after you take care of yourself, can you start to have a satisfying and sexual relationship.

Do know if you are happy with your relationship

All couples have their ups and down. However, when problems pile up and are not acknowledged, addressed and resolved, they will not magically disappear on their own. Couples are left feeling angry, frustrated and depressed. The majority of women will simply not feel like jumping into bed and having sex when they are feeling animosity toward their partner. Couples on an on-going basis need to discuss, negotiate, compromise and come up with win/win solutions to problems.

And men must remember that their wives require about 20 minutes of manual and oral stimulation, including hugs and kisses and caresses before they will be sufficiently aroused to the point of wanting intercourse. And don’t forget about emotional foreplay. I love you. I appreciate you. You look beautiful. Can I help you with the kids and the dishes? All of these expressions of love translate into women wanting to be physically close. Dates for sex also help couples to look forward to spending alone, intimate time together.

Do keeping the intimacy alive when illness plays havoc with your life

Have you just been diagnosed with cancer or heart disease, or you are dealing with an acute or chronic illness. Of course the last thing in the world that you will be thinking about it sex. However, you still can hold each other, kiss, touch and fondle. You can keep your emotional and physical intimacy alive even under circumstances such as these.

Do seek help for erectile dysfunction and pre-mature ejactulation

As men age their ability to maintain and sustain erections as they did when they were younger changes. They require much more direct manual and oral stimulation. However, if your partner consistently is unable to get and maintain an erection, it is important to find out why. Is there nerve damage, blocked vessels, a possible undiagnosed heart problem, prostate cancer? Could the problem be related to depression, performance anxiety or the side effects of drugs or alcohol?

Once the problem is correctly diagnosed, there are a variety of things that you can do including: trying viagra, levitra, cialis, injection therapy. Penile implants are another option that you should discuss with your doctor. With open and honest communication and expert help, the majority of couple are able to successfully deal with this challenge.

As for premature ejaculation, there are a variety of techniques including: stop/start, the squeeze technique, and numbing agents that can successfully help couples with this problem.


Don't

Do not let prescription drugs control your sex life

Is your prescription medication negatively affecting your sex life? Many drugs have sexual side effects. You need to be proactive and talk to your doctor. Frequently, a change in the dose or the family of the drug can make a huge difference in your level of sexual desire and performance.

Do not excessively use drugs or alcohol

Alcohol is a depressant. Excessive use of alcohol frequently interferes with men’s ability to maintain and sustain an erection. And remember that long-term use of recreational drugs, including marijuana and cocaine, can also adversely affect your sex life.

Do not let daily life get in the way

Are you letting your life get in the way of your sex life? These days people are running around non-stop. Children, jobs, financial challenges, our constant use of cell phones, computers occupy most people’s days and nights. We need to slow down. Your relationship and your children need to be at the top of the list of our priorities. It’s a juggling act. However, it is very important for couples to invest more time in their relationships and their sex lives. The consequences of not doing so are dire.

Do not forget that hormones can affect your sex life

As men and women age their hormone levels can change dramatically. A decrease in your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone levels can contribute to diminished sexual desire, less energy, problems with sleep and erratic mood. It is very important to ask your doctor about hormone testing. And if your hormones need a boost, there are natural hormone remedies that can really make a difference in how you feel sexually.


Summary
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Acknowledge, address and resolve your issues in and out of the bedroom. We all need more fun in our lives. So beginning today, talk to your partner and jointly make a decision to take whatever steps are necessary to improve the quality of your relationship and your sex life. And don’t hesitate to ask for good professional help if you find that you need some expert coaching.


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Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSWPsychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Author, Speaker, National Radio and Television Expert Guest and Radi

I am a nationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, co-author of For Better, For Worse, Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love, national speaker and national radio and television expert guest. I host a live ASK BEATTY radio show on ...

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