After you get a divorce, you can feel like you have lost your self-esteem and self-worth. These types of feelings will pass, but you have to ensure that you take the right steps to understand what it is to be a single, independent, sensually and sexually fabulous woman. To help you along the way, be sure to surround yourself with people who will support and love you in your new journey. The value you put on yourself is up to you. Here is some expert advice to help.
- ignore that flip flop feeling of wishing to be married again
- take baby steps
- build self-confidence
- tell yourself, “I am strong, I will survive this!”
- give yourself a big hug every day
- forget that it takes two to tango
- let the small talk get to you
- give into the pity pot
- bottle your anger
- sweat the small stuff
Stop the old tape, dust yourself off, and know that wonderful things await you. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” Look towards the future and be optimistic of the good things to come. The feeling of wishing to be married again will pass.
Put one foot in front of the other. It will take time to become the woman you want to be or a better version of the one you were, before you married.
Surround yourself with people that are supportive of your decision to be on your own again. Work on building your own self-confidence so that you can learn to be happy as a single, divorced individual.
Stand in front of the mirror, arms crossed in front of you, legs apart and repeat 5 times: I am strong. I will survive this. I have value. I will make things happen for myself! Doing this will help reinforce and build your self-esteem and confidence.
Greet each day with enthusiasm, knowing that you are going to be fine. Create a mantra that you repeat at the beginning and at the end of your day, such as, “I am strong, I do have worth, I deserve good things in my life.”
Don’t blame yourself for the divorce. Don’t allow your thoughts to wander in the direction of “I caused this divorce and now I am paying the price!” Remember it takes two people who agree to disagree. Especially if it was a bad situation to begin with, divorce may have been exactly what you needed.
People will always talk, so learn to ignore the small talk. Extract what you need to move forward and hold those words close to your heart.
Never embrace the word “pathetic.” It will handicap your self-worth. People who haven’t walked in your shoes can’t possibly know what it feels like to be you. You’re the one in charge of you now. Let your script take you wherever you want to go.
Get those feelings out by writing everything down. Anger is a natural reaction to divorce and you don’t want others to see you as that person. Seek professional help if the anger is consuming you otherwise know it will pass in time.
Assess your strengths “realistically” speaking. Don’t put yourself down. Instead, focus on what you are good at and say them out loud and proud.
As far as changing “your relationship” goes, focus on the relationship with yourself and what your life would be like as a woman whose essence will be restored. Begin a self-embracing path which will eventually lead you to where you will be in the future…sensually and sexually fabulous! If you are experiencing a non-communicative, sexually and emotionally deprived relationship, either get down to the nitty gritty, no holds barred conversation with your partner, or if that doesn’t work, think it through and begin to seek out what sincerely fulfills you. Whatever it is, enjoy and embrace your life. No guilt, no shame, it’s your life to own.