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Successfully move on and start over after the divorce is final

Successfully move on and start over after the divorce is final

Starting over after a divorce is one of the hardest things that a person will have to do. Here is some simple advice to get your life back after a divorce.


Do

Do change your routine

Make it a point to try a new restaurant or lounge in your city or the surrounding cities every week or every other week. The more you’re out, the more likely you are to meet really great people that will make you laugh and make you feel wanted. Feeling good is a key essential to the healing process.

Do read lots of books that motivate you to be successful

Spiritually, physically and financially successful. The best way to get over someone is to become your best self ever; mind, body and soul. All three of those area’s need to be fed daily vitamins to keep you healthy and focused on a healthy future.
 

Do workout

Hit the gym hard and consistently. There is nothing sexier than a man or woman with a beautiful body. Do yourself a favor and put your body ahead of the class by sculpting it into a work of art. Beginning in great shape has several benefits: 1) a healthy body functions better 2) its easier on the eyes 3) and most importantly it raises your own self-esteem. Dating is so much easier when you can look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection.
 

Do update your wardrobe

Out with the old and in with the new. There is nothing better than clearing out your closet and starting fresh. Make sure you don’t replace your old clothes with new clothes that look like your old clothes. Try to pick warm colors that compliment your skin and are a perfect fit for your body type. Everyone can wear everything, however not everyone should wear everything. Clothes are designed to hide our flaws and accentuate our assets; use that to your advantage in a classy and sexy way.

Do travel

Go somewhere you have never been. Start building memories that have nothing to do with your ex. One of the hardest parts of getting over someone is that every memory includes him/her. Begin building a new memory bank that includes no images of your ex.


Don't

Do not talk about your ex

Stay in control of what comes out of your mouth. Every time you talk about the toxic issues of your old relationship you are attracting more of that into your life. The universe hears everything. The more you discuss your ex, the more power you are giving to that old relationship. Its time to move forward, and the only way to do that is to stay positive and focused on what you are looking forward to in the future.

Do not blame yourself

Blaming yourself for your mistakes in the relationship is not going to make your ex forget or return to you. The only thing that can be done at this point is to learn from the errors of your ways and make it a point correct them should the time come again when you’re in the same predicament. Life is about making mistakes, learning from them, and becoming wiser. Not about being perfect from birth.

Do not have sex with the ex

I know he/she is a comfort zone, but this is a huge no no, because it puts the relationship in a gray area that often times leads to more heartbreak for one or both people involved. When it’s over, it’s over. And learn to say no, to yourself and your ex.

Do not hang on

It’s time to separate and detach from all things that have anything to do with him/her. That includes tax returns, pictures, property, comforter sets, friends, etc. Remember that there is a price for everything in life. I have heard people say “We keep filing our taxes together because it saves us money,” but the headache to get that person to comply with your request for documents took six months. The saving is never greater than the cost of time spent trying to do things like you used to. Put the pictures of you and your ex and other sentimental things in a box and stick it in storage. Take the comforter set and other purchases that remind you of him/her and take them to the goodwill. It’s time to start fresh.


Do not talk on the phone with your ex

Hearing your ex’s voice often times does more harm than good. If you must call to discuss the kids or bills, make it a point to stay on topic. Say what you need to say and get off the line. Out of sight, out of mind (that includes phone calls). The less interaction you have with your ex, the easier the transition will be to get to a happier place.


Summary
Jumping cartoon

At the end of the day, only time will heal your wounds. However, the more time you spend doing other things, the less time you will have to spend on what used to be. The past is gone, and the future is not promised, so enjoy today as if it is a present.
 


More expert advice about Surviving Divorce

Photo Credits: Betrothal9 by Rolands Lakis via Flickr; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas - Fotolia.com

Shanae HallAuthor, Radio & TV Personality

Shanae Hall is an author, TV & Radio Personality and a Mother. She wrote the Award nominated response to Steve Harvey’s Best Seller “Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man”, and is currently promoting her second book “For Single Ladies Only.” Shanae ...

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