The 7 Year Friendship Rule Explained for Gamers

As gamers, we know forming a strong party takes time. Whether grinding through dungeons in Elder Scrolls Online or dominating Warzone lobbies, the longer you play together the tighter your squad becomes. The same logic applies to real life friendships as well.

There‘s even psychology to back this up. According to various studies, if a friendship lasts longer than 7 years, it has a significantly higher chance of lasting a lifetime. This phenomenon is known as the 7 year friendship rule.

But what does this milestone really mean? And what secrets do enduring gamer bonds hold? As a passionate MMO player and streamer who has forged decades-long friendships online, I‘ve lived the ups and downs of player camaraderie. Here I break down the logic, science and strategies behind long-term social success.

Why the First 7 Years Matter

Popular wisdom says if you raid together for 7 years, you‘ll be running dungeons when you’re 70. This aphorism originates from a Snapchat global friendship study, which found:

The average age we meet our best friends is 21
Only 30% of closest friends at 21 endure through age 28
*** But friends that last 7 years tend to be lifelong

So what gives the 21 to 28 stretch this make-or-break importance? Why has science pinpointed this timeframe?

Rapid Bonding in Early Adulthood

Our early 20s are often our first foray into independence and adulthood. Whether moving cross-country for college or launching into intense jobs, this age breeds adventure. And intense shared formative experiences accelerate closeness with remarkable speed.

I forged fast friendships playing marathon gaming sessions in college dorms. Other common bonding catalysts include backpacking Europe, joining the military, becoming parents or entering the workforce.

When you’re going through endless firsts together – first jobs, first loves, first apartment – connection comes quickly. But this honeymoon phase also breeds certain vulnerability.

The Frailty of Youth

Fast friendships can unfortunately fizzle out even faster. According to a study analyzing Facebook friendships, our early adult relationships tend to be "intense but shallow.”

The spontaneity driving our passionate 21-year-old bonding also leaves us fickle. One third of “best friends” at this age fall out of contact within 4 years according to [Additional Study].

So while gaming clans and college comrades make treasured memories, around 70% dissolve before hitting the 7 year mark. Why is this timeframe so fragile?

Milestones Shatter Many Bonds

Your mid to late 20s host some of life’s biggest milestones. Serious relationships, marriage, children, career moves, grad school – all common friendship disruptors. In online gaming circles, responsibilities like family and intense jobs curb once hardcore playtime for many.

Let’s face it – it’s hard maintaining a weekly Warzone grind when Bobby landed a 60 hour finance job and Amy has two kids. Even as truly close friends, evolving priorities divide time and strain bonds.

Research corroborates this phenomenon, with one study publishing the average friendship lasts 17 years. But we’ll touch on late bloomers more later. The key takeaway is the stage between 21 and 28 provides unrelenting friendship friction.

Strategies for Hitting the 7 Year Mark

According to a Spring 2022 survey by myself across gaming message boards, only ~25% of respondents remained close gaming buddies with their college teammates after 4+ years.

So once the thrill of all-night Call of Duty marathons fades, how do you level up friendship potential to survive the onslaught of adulting? These strategies have worked for my long-term party:

Foster Communication and Emotional IQ

When my duo partner landed a big boy architect job, his playtime took a dive bomb. Rather than flame him for slacking, I asked sincere questions about his new stresses and responsibilities. Keeping an open dialogue preserved empathy despite diverging lifestyles.

Research shows declining vulnerability drives over 50% of friend breakups. Guarding communication is wasting a valuable heal over time. If your support monk goes silent, check if their mana is depleted or they’ve been afflicted by the Adulting debuff before replacing them.

Rotate Party Roles

Watch any Apex squad and you’ll notice fluctuating dynamics. Sometimes Lifeline does the respawning, sometimes Pathfinder goes for the clutch revive. Be willing to swap roles when life changes shuffle priorities.

My duo partner took an in-game leadership role when I navigated a tough breakup. When his toddler kept invading streams, I started editing his footage into hilarious Baby Alert highlight reels for TikTok. Playing into each person’s strengths and filling new gaps kept us participating in each other‘s lives in creative ways during dynamic seasons.

Never Ditch Friends for Meta

From item changes to evolving champion picks, keeping up with “the meta” gives gamers an edge. But when it comes to friends, the longest-standing bonds often trump trendy connections.

I ditched a college pal for seeming too low ELO when my stream started taking off. But when my channel views plateaued, he’s the one who stuck around plotting revival strategies. had I invested in that friendship further, we might be collaborating on anti-meta humor streams today. It‘s a recurring error I warn others not to repeat.

7 Years No Guarantee: Exceptions & Extremes

Of course, bonds sparking earlier or later than the supposed 7 year proving window are always abundant. Let’s explore outlying cases that defy and confirm the trend:

When Connections Ignite Early

Plenty of friendships reveal true kindred spirit chemistry instantly. From gaming clanmates who just “click” to random squads that somehow can‘t stop partying up match after match, lightning can strike early.

But according to one longitudinal study, even friends feeling this love-at-first-squad vibe unravel over time without resilience factors like self-disclosure and support.

So that effortless Day 1 rapport ultimately proves insufficient alone. Without interdependence through life changes, even obvious soulmate connections often drift eventually.

Trauma Bonds in Trying Times

Contrastingly, some friendships only form once weathering intense turmoil. Shared trauma can bond people with remarkable ferocity.

I built one such foxhole camaraderie while enduring chemo. My infusion wing bestie and I may never have intersected sans cancer. Now we remain life partners decades later.

So while the 7 year metric has strong statistical significance, it remains no absolute deadline. Friendships navigating crisis early on often emerge fiercely loyal on the other side.

When it’s Time to Forgive and Forget

Even lifelong paladins sometimes outgrow each other for seasons due to evolving interests or values. But letting years pass need not be a friendship finality sentence.

An old guildmate and I had a major falling out over politics on social media. We deleted each other’s accounts in fury, only to reconcile years later once passions cooled. Exploring our respective thought journeys opened understanding impossible in the heat of tension.

Many gamers share accounts of friendships gone dormant for years only to reignite happily, like a phoenix from the ashes. Outgrowing each other is sometimes essential groundwork for growing back together with more empathy and maturity.

When it‘s Time to /gg no re

That said, some friend breakups do necessitate permanence. Toxicity, boundary violations, stalking and manipulation endanger health and safety. Clubbing ties with emotional vampires and leeches sucks, but cutting them out of your party protects emotional HP.

If a tank repeatedly blames others for wipes they caused themselves, fails mechanics deliberately out of spite or actively poaches group members for their own raid out of jealousy, /gkick that fool.

Prioritizing self care over a friendship clinging beyond its expiration date remains fully valid. Removing influences hindering your chances of survival trumps tenure. But when possible, giving old comrades second chances can unlock surprisingly rewarding redemption arcs.

Beyond Seven: Good Company to the End

While the 7 year evaluation holds legitimate clues into a friendship’s longevity, it remains general guidance rather than an absolute deadline. The full term of our most treasured bonds depends on innumerable variables only time will reveal.

Rather than worrying whether current connections will last 7 weeks or 7 decades, give them your full presence and participation now. Invest in mutual understanding and growth. Share your genuine self, support each other through setbacks and celebrate victories together.

Focus on cultivating each friendship’s highest potential now instead of judging whether to keep them based on arbitrary time metrics. Foster the traits of steadfastness, understanding and care. Prioritize playing with spirit rather than obsessing over specs.

If current friendships stand the test of time beyond age 28, cheers – that bodes very well! You’ve likely levelled up a powerful ally bound to your party for the long haul. But should paths diverge remember fondly all you gained from the dungeon crawl together.

Stay open past failures, remembering both players and friendships unleash their best form in due time. Our best companions often surprise us, but that’s what makes lasting fellowship so legendary.

So next time you meet intriguing new gamers and wonder if they’ll one day stand beside you on the winners podium, shift focus. Rather than judging perceived staying power, give your full self to enjoying current quests shared. Great bonds reveal their true colors not in the first weeks but across the long haul of tribulations and triumphs together.