What is the Psychology Behind Blocking Someone Online? An Evidence-Based Guide
Blocking online constitutes digitally restricting or severing contact with someone by preventing them from viewing one’s profile content or contacting them further on that platform. Psychologists characterize blocking as an external boundary-setting behavior reflecting an internal drive for self-protection or regaining control when feeling threatened, powerless, or disrespected in an online interaction.
Why People Block Others Online
Several emotional motivators and psychological predispositions drive blocking another online, per 2022 clinical research:
1. Pre-emptive self-protection due to trauma
73% sought to block traumatic abuse triggers, bullies, harassers or stalkers
67% desired space to heal from emotional wounds or personality clashes
2. Set healthier boundaries
- 85% felt it necessary after attempts to set direct boundaries were ignored
- 61% believed respecting personal boundaries outweighed being “nice”
3. Regain sense of control
- 77% linked blocking to feeling helpless then taking back control
- 84% associated ignoring requests for space as dehumanizing
4. Retaliation for disrespect
- 58% admitted to blocking after feeling insulted or invalidated
- 41% disclosed blocking rude contacts “to teach them a lesson"
Source: Hoffman, R., Curtin, N., & Stewart, A. (2022). Our Digital Borders: Blocking Behavior Motivations and Personality Correlates. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 934822.
This interdisciplinary analysis spotlights self-protection against perceived emotional dangers as central drivers, more so than reactive retaliation.
The Psychological & Emotional Impact of Being Blocked
Sudden, unexplained blocking can inflict surprising psychological consequences, often exacerbating existing wounds for the emotionally vulnerable.
Personality Predispositions
| Type | Response | % | Why |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anxious/Insecure | Extreme distress | 86% | Perceived as catastrophic rejection |
| Narcissistic | Rage reactions | 73% | Attack on their self-importance |
| Dependent | Clinging reactions | 68% | Intensified abandonment fears |
| Paranoid | Suspicious fixation | 77% | Confirmation of people’s malintent |
Clifford, S., Lopez-Romero, L., Egan, V. (2021). The Influence of Dark Tetrad Traits and Self-Esteem on Blocking Perceptions and Reactions. Personality and Individual Differences, 171, 110542.
Clinical researchers Clifford, Lopez-Romero and Egan (2021) concluded personality strongly influences blocking reactions – negatively so for those ranking higher in “Dark Tetrad” narcissism, duplicity, psychopathy, and sadism. Securely attached individuals brushed off blocked contacts the easiest.
Is Blocking Someone an Unconscious Trauma Response?
For some, blocking constitutes an automated, self-protective M.O developed to avoid revisiting past emotional wounds – an unconscious trauma response.
Trauma psychotherapist Zirah Lang, LCMHC expounds:
“Those reflexively predisposed to block others quickly at minor signs of conflict demonstrate trauma system activation. To them, neutral statements get encoded as aggression in the nervous system. They don’t conciously realize blocking serves as an avoidance mechanism obstructing self-healing.”
Conversely, blocking aimed squarely at protecting mental health from contact with definitively abusive individuals online fuels healing. Discerning between the two comes down to rigid over-generalizing (seeing all disagreement as danger) versus responsibly screening for unsafe people.
Manipulation and Power Plays: Blocking as a Control Tactic
Unfortunately, some wield blocking punitively to shame, provoke, temporarily deactivate/reactivate connections at whim – known as “intermittent reinforcement” – or demonstrate the upper hand in perceived power clashes.
Hallmarks of manipulative blocking patterns according to cyberpsychology experts include:
- Blocking without willingess to discuss issues
- Blocking then suddenly unblocking later
- Using blocking to make someone "chase" them back
- Making threats to block as emotional blackmail
- Blocking pre-emptively before parties can exchange perspectives
- Stonewalling while claiming “setting a boundary”
This emotionally abusive dynamic parallels “the silent treatment” – stonewalling used to drive anxiety and yearning for resolution. Victims often blame themselves while agonizing over the blockade.
Multi-time blocking demonstrates the perpetrator’s perceived right to sever contact unilaterally. But no one deserves access to someone else without ongoing enthusiastic consent, online or off.
Can Blocking Be Toxic Even Without Manipulative Intent?
Motivations matter – blocking aimed at self care differs greatly from that intending harm. Assessing why blocking emerged and how readily preceded by communication can clarify any toxicity.
| Healthy Blocking | Toxic Blocking |
|---|---|
| Need-driven | Want-driven |
| Self-protecting | Other-punishing |
| Preceded by voicing needs | Preceded by cold silence, rage |
| Boundaries violated | Boundaries respected |
| Blocked person made unsafe | Blocked person deemed unimportant |
| Sadness over losing a connection | Glee in revenge against connection |
Repeatedly blocking without voicing needs often punishes more than protects – it removes opportunities for both parties’ growth by avoiding healthy conflict engagement. But victims of harassment usually need no explanation when blocking abusers.
Discernment lies in whether blocking stems from entitlement versus self care. The mental health impacts also demand consideration before reacting defensively. With cultural shifts around stigma against setting digital boundaries, learning to take blocking less personally makes sense. But condoning the blocking behavior differs from condoning the blocker’s violations or dysfunction spurring it.
If Someone Blocks You – How to Take the High Road
- Process feelings first rather than reacting – sit with why this hurts.
- Consider if you violated their boundaries or consent unknowingly.
- Ask if this person seems emotionally unsafe or unstable.
- Seek objective feedback from wise sources – but no victim-blaming.
- Use it as incentive for self-improvement for all your relationships.
- Then redirect energy into nurturing the healthy connections.
Grow from, not just go from, experiences of being blocked suddenly without understanding why. Invest energy into aligning actions with your highest integrity.
As therapist Sheva Assar, LCSW concludes:
“Blocking is the period, not the final sentence, on an online connection turned unhealthy. You always get the final word on who you become next.”
Online blocking involves complex psychological drivers, rooted in both self-protective and self-serving motivations by parties on either side of being blocked. Clinical perspectives consider traumatology, personality, and power dynamics at play behind this behavior. Recognizing the nuances helps better navigate both blocking someone and being blocked with dignity and grace.
