Which monk can marry?

The rules around marriage and monks vary significantly across Buddhist traditions. Some traditions, like Tibetan Buddhism, do allow monks to marry in certain circumstances. However, celibacy remains an important virtue for monks in most traditions.

Tibetan Buddhism

In Tibetan Buddhism, some monks are allowed to marry. This practice emerged in part due to the harsh climate and remote locations of many Tibetan monasteries, which made complete celibacy difficult to enforce. However, monks still must uphold their vows and duties first and foremost. Married monks cannot put their family commitments above their monastic ones.

Importantly, the main Kagyu and Gelug schools of Tibetan Buddhism still uphold celibacy as the ideal. The Nyingma and Sakya schools are more open to married monks. Even in these schools though, higher-ranking teachers are often celibate.

So in Tibetan Buddhism, marriage is accepted but not universally encouraged. Monks must balance their family life carefully against their monastic commitments.

East Asian Buddhism

In the Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese and Japanese Zen traditions, complete celibacy has historically been required of monks. These East Asian Vinaya traditions uphold celibacy as essential to the monastic path.

However, some exceptions emerged over time. For example, the marriage of monks was briefly allowed in Japan during the Meiji period before being banned again. Some Korean monks also live with wives in their monasteries.

So most East Asian traditions still emphasize celibacy even if some exceptions exist. Marriage is generally discouraged or disallowed for ordained monks.

Vajrayana Buddhism

In Vajrayana Buddhism, which overlaps significantly with Tibetan Buddhism, monks generally have more flexibility around issues like marriage. Some Vajrayana monks do marry, although this practice is not universally encouraged or accepted.

High-ranking Vajrayana teachers are still expected to remain celibate in many schools. But for ordinary monks and nuns, there may be more room for interpretation depending on the specific tradition and lineage. Strict celibacy is valued but not always required.

Theravada Buddhism

In the Theravada Buddhist traditions of South and Southeast Asia, celibacy remains essential for monks. These Vinaya traditions uphold the earliest Buddhist teachings which require complete abstinence from sensuality and family life.

Some Theravada monks disrobe after years of monastic training in order to marry and have families. But married men cannot ordain as Theravada monks, at least not in the strictest interpretation of the rules.

So in the Theravada school, celibacy is mandatory. Monks cannot marry without disrobing first. Even disrobed monks cannot then become ordained again later in life.

Conclusions

In summary:

• Tibetan Buddhism has the most flexibility around monastic marriage, although celibacy is still more common and idealized.
• East Asian Buddhist monks generally remain celibate although some exceptions exist.
• Vajrayana Buddhism exists in a middle ground where celibacy is valued but not always strictly enforced.
• Theravada Buddhism requires complete celibacy for ordained monks without exceptions.

So in most Buddhist schools, celibacy is still the ideal. But some traditions like Tibetan Buddhism do allow for married monks, usually with caveats around prioritizing their spiritual commitments. The rules vary widely based on culture and interpretation.

Ultimately, the issue requires weighing the personal situations and challenges of monks against the preservation of monastic ideals. There are good-faith arguments on all sides. With open and respectful discussion, perhaps common ground can be found.