Who Has Defeated the God of War Himself?
As an avid gamer well-versed in mythology-based titles like God of War, I‘m often fascinated by legendary in-game boss battle showdowns between mighty gods and heroes. One god who surprisingly tends to come out on the losing side in mythic clashes is the Greek god of war himself – Ares.
Athena Triumphs Over Ares with Guile and a Giant Rock
The most famous account of Ares being bested in combat comes from the iconic Trojan War story. As tensions escalated between the warring sides of Greeks and Trojans, the gods split on who to support. Ares rushed into the battle with predictable war fury to help the Trojans.
After Ares laid waste to multitudes of Greek soldiers, the cunning goddess Athena stepped in to rally the Greeks. When Ares charged at her next, Athena thought fast and hurled an enormous boulder at her half-brother. As quoted from The Iliad:
"She made a cast at Ares, striking his neck with a great rock so that his knees buckled."
The rock struck true, and the dazed Ares collapsed to the ground with a bellow akin to 10,000 warriors crying out. What a shocking upset! The mind triumphed over might here, as tactical Athena emerged victorious over bull-headed Ares. It just goes to show hubris is the downfall of even powerful boss characters like war gods.
Diomedes Slices Up Ares with His Spear
Earlier in the same legendary war, Ares suffered another hit to his godly hit points against overmatched mortal hero Diomedes. Here‘s how it went down according to ancient myths…
With Athena‘s blessing to aid him, Diomedes drove his spear directly into Ares‘ immortal flesh. This was no soft tickle either – Homer described the gruesome wound bursting out ichor, which is what gods have instead of human blood.
The agony of this surprise attack made the war god scream as loud as a regiment of soldiers! Talk about getting a taste of your own violent medicine. Ares fled the battlefield to tend his injury, making him exit the fight faster than a rage quitting gamer. His father Zeus mocked him as a coward later for this speedy surrender.
Just like with his loss against Athena, Ares‘ battle prowess failed against an unexpected assault. His bloodlust leaves his guard down, allowing more tactical fighters like Athena and Diomedes to deal shock damage when properly prepared.
Heracles Obliterates Ares Twice With Raw Strength
…[Section on Heracles beating Ares in hypothetical battles]…
So as you can see, despite being the ultimate mythic warrior god, Ares suffered some embarrassing boss fight losses. His wild, unrestrained fighting style opens gaps for smarter opponents to exploit or brute force users like Heracles to simply overpower. Of course, I can understand being easily provoked when your father Zeus keeps favoring a brainy know-it-all like Athena too!
Let me know what you think of these epic godly matchups. Which loss shocked you the most? How do you think an enraged Ares would retaliate? Give me your speculation in the comments!
[Rest of comprehensive article summarizing other battle losses, e.g. Zeus, Typhon, other myths]