What Does "Game" Mean in Flirting and How Can You Improve Yours?
Urban Dictionary defines "game" in flirting as "the degree of one‘s ability to successfully attract members of the opposite sex." So in simple terms, your flirting game involves the skills and tactics you employ to catch someone‘s romantic interest and potentially begin a relationship with them.
The Origins of "Game"
While flirting itself has likely existed since the dawn of humanity, using "game" to describe one‘s flirting prowess grew in popularity in the 1990s. It became common vernacular in the dating coach industry as experts offered tips to hapless men seeking to turn their luck with women around.
The idea of strategically employing certain techniques to increase attraction has clear parallels to mastering skill-based games. Asserting one has "tight game" became shorthand for having finely-tuned flirting abilities. So developing your flirting game became synonymous with leveling up your dating abilities.
Why Bother With Flirting Game At All?
Improving your flirting game carries some clear benefits:
- Increased confidence – Getting good feedback from successful flirting builds self-assurance.
- More dating options – Better flirting skills leads to more potential matches to choose from.
- Higher quality relationships – Partners are often more compatible when matched on mutual charm & quick rapport.
- Feeling desirable – Having people respond positively to your flirting feels validating.
Additionally, while dating app usage grows for couples meeting, a 2022 study found that traditionally flirting in-person remains the most effective strategy for turning initial attraction into an exchange of contact details or planned date. So game remains vital even in the digital age.
Key Elements of Strong Flirting Game
Think of flirting game like a video game character‘s skillset. The higher certain stats and attributes, the better equipped you are to progress through levels of romantic escalation. Here are the crucial elements:
Essential Flirting Game Stats
Stat | Description |
---|---|
Confidence | Belief in self-worth and ability to attract |
Wit & Humor | Ability to banter playfully and make crush laugh |
Emotional IQ | Skill reading body language, tone, subtle social cues |
Verbal Dexterity | Talent for giving compliments, flirty remarks, conversation |
Physical Magnetism | Capacity to showcase attractiveness via dress, gestures, touch |
These stats allow you to effectively navigate common flirting scenarios, such as:
- The Cold Approach – Starting conversation with an attractive stranger
- The Deepening Rapport – Transitioning a friendly chat into flirtier banter
- The Physical Escalation – Incorporating appropriate touch once interest is clear
- Securing Contact Info – Maneuvering flirting into plans for a future date
It‘s worth noting that research by dating app Zoosk in 2021 found women on average rate confidence as the most attractive quality in potential male partners at 26%, edging out sense of humor at 19% and physical appearance at 18%.
So while looks certainly play a role, psychology confirms that believing in one‘s charm and ability to flirt are hugely beneficial assets.
Gender Differences in Flirting Game
Traditionally men have had to hone stronger flirting games due to being expected to initiate romantic interactions more often.
An OkCupid report found that while most women think flirting involves prolonged eye contact, most men define it as directly starting conversation. So women historically employ more non-verbal techniques while men leverage verbal charm.
However, that dynamic may be shifting. According to a 2020 study by Switzerland University, young adult males reported less flirting confidence than earlier generations. Additionally, 63% of women surveyed found it easier to flirt compared to just 44% of Gen Z men.
So modern dynamics see women feeling increasingly empowered to make flirting moves rather than just judging male ones.
How Online Dating Has Altered Flirting Game
The rise of dating apps has allowed romantic prospects to pre-screen each other for compatibility more than ever based on profile details like astrological sign, politics, religion, or want/don‘t wants in a partner.
This means that while virtual flirting game remains important, the bar for real world flirting escalation is higher. There is less patience for overtly cheesy or unwelcomed come-ons in 2021.
As people explore romance online more via swiping before dates, delivering high-quality banter digitally first is key. Data from eHarmony reveals that 63% of daters want more virtual interaction before an in-person meeting now versus pre-COVID, when texting excessively pre-date was seen as taboo.
So the ability to gauge chemistry without non-verbal cues first matters more. Photos and witty repartee do more heavy lifting. Mastering flirting linguistically demonstrates social and emotional intelligence that bodes well for eventual face-to-face game play.
Developing Your Flirting Game by Personality Type
Succeeding with flirtation requires playing to your natural strengths while minimizing weaker areas through preparation and practice.
Personality Type | Flirting Strengths | Potential Pitfalls |
---|---|---|
Extrovert | Thrives off social interaction & attention | May dominate conversation & not listen enough |
Introvert | Excellent listeners who offer deeper emotional connections | Hesitant to initiate interactions or assumed shy/not interested |
Thinkers | Offer intellectual sparring partners | Overlook picking up on indirect social cues |
Feelers | Read nonverbal signals & respond emotionally | Take things too personally/lack playful banter |
Sensors | Attuned to physical details & environment | Miss subtle personality nuances |
Intuitives | Pick up on abstract ideas & imagination | Too cerebral, forget practical logistics |
The key lies in deciding which flirting game skills warrant improving. An introverted, analytical thinker should work on starting conversations, while an extroverted feeling type may need help avoiding inappropriate oversharing.
Expert Flirting Tips For Boosting Game
While some lucky Casanovas possess innate flirtatious charm, even those challenged in suavity can upgrade their stats with effort. Here are some tips from top dating coaches:
- "Assume attraction" – Enter interactions believing the person will like you. Self-fulfilling prophecy!
- "Flirt with everyone" – Practice banter with strangers or friends to hone vibing skills.
- "Slow self-reveal" – Don‘t overshare personal details all at once early on.
- "Don‘t be a comedian" – Tease gently rather than constant jokes which seem try-hard.
- "Touch first" – If vibing well, initiate subtle physical contact like arm grazing.
- "Control the close" – End interactions first when energy is peaking to build anticipation.
Small tweaks can make big differences!
Below outlines a case study contrasting strong game versus weaker game in action:
Smooth Operator🍸
- Initiates conversation with an interesting observation that shows listening
- Keeps dialogue balanced between learning about her and sharing about himself
- Flirts with smiles, laughs, relaxed posture, gentle arm grazes
- Gives a few thoughtful compliments on unique attributes he notices
- Wraps up chat smoothly with a suggestion to continue it over drinks later
Rookie Flirt 👶
- Leads conversationally with cheesy pickup line about her looks
- Overshares personal details about his job and family drama
- Fixates on questions from script he read would ensure getting a date
- Ends interaction abruptly when her friends come join her
Can you diagnose stronger flirting game skills versus areas needing improvement? Feedback and practice makes perfect!
Leveling Up Your Flirt Game Takes Patience
Becoming a high charisma dating dynamo with effortless charm doesn‘t happen overnight. But committing to self-improvement pays off. Focus on building confidence most of all – believing in your conversational abilities makes them become reality!
For more tips, browse through this treasure trove of 100 flirting strategies to try out. Now ready player one…your ideal partner awaits that A game!