In an intimate relationship, although most people know it’s better to not always be right, admitting you are wrong is never easy to do.
A couple’s ability to give up their self-righteousness defines their relationship. That means that if either person in the relationship is stuck in their position much of the time, the relationship will suffer. If both partners are easily able to come off their position and see that they are not always right, letting go of their side, the relationship will prosper.
One of the many important lessons learned in a loving relationship is the value of moving off your position for the greater good of those involved. The stronger person, the supporter of the relationship, recognizes wrongdoing, forgives, apologizes, and does not wish to hold onto self-righteousness. The weaker person needs to hold on to the negative feeling of being right. Those who choose to hold on to self-righteousness can never hold on to good relationships.
This can be directly correlated with the love each partner has for one another. That is because love is the only thing that will overcome strong self-righteousness. Love is what motivates a person to compassion or seeing another side or just saying, “Okay even though I might be right here, my love and my relationship is more important than this point.”
Repeating the other person’s point, shows them you are listening. Also, if you are not understanding their point as they want you to, they can re-explain it to you with more understanding.
There is often, a “right” within both perspectives and compromising to the middle needs to be made. Look at both of your positions from an objective standpoint and find the middle ground.
When a person knows you are open to at least trying their idea, they will release any aggressive desire to force it on you. Be open to the idea that a compromise will support your relationship and your viewpoint.
If the relationship is one-sided and you are always submitting them, they will build resentment. Be conscious of how often your partner gives in to your viewpoint, because sometimes you have to be able to give in so that your partner can feel an equal amount of support.
After you decide, no matter what you do, move off of the bad feelings. Letting go of the negative feeling, argument, anger, or frustration allows a relationship to move into a new positive vibration. Let it go.
We’ve all experienced people saying sorry in a way that we know they don’t mean it. Remember, the objective here is to avoid more drama and stress, not to create it. Be genuine and truthful to your partner.
Being arrogant and expecting that you deserve something because you gave into your partner is not genuine either. Your partner expects just as much respect in the relationship as you.
You are not a child losing control and being told what to do. If your ego needs the feeling of control (and we all do sometimes), make it known that it is your choice to support your partner and you are happy to do so, despite your different opinion.
Even though you might be opposing, the idea is to continue to complement one another. Meaning to complete the circle of trust and love - this is the basis of the theory behind the Taoist philosophy of the Yin-Yang of opposing yet complementary forces.
This of the larger picture of your life together. In ten years is this really something you will remember that you had to be right about? Don’t sweat the small stuff, because in the end, they really don’t matter.
Remember, the one who apologizes or gives into their partner is not admitting they are wrong, but supporting their relationship over their point of view. And true love always overcomes self-righteousness.
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