There are “Date Doctors,” “match-makers,” and even therapists for dating-trouble. Dating Coaches are the new hot trend in this ever-changing dating landscape because they’re like personal trainers for your love life. And just like personal trainers have specialties, so do dating coaches! Find one that works for you and you may find the love of your life.
- understand yourself first
- look for chemistry
- own your stuff
- share the wealth
- be prepared to pay
- expect them to do the work
- fight the program
- buy before trying
- forget to lather, rinse, repeat
- give up
When it comes to dating, everyone has an opinion and can easily start charging others to hear it. That’s why it’s crucial that you understand yourself first. Understand where in dating you’re struggling: confidence, where to meet people, how to present yourself online, etc. There is a dating coach for nearly every dating topic, so the more specific you can be about your needs, the more likely you’ll find the right person to help you get results.
Each dating coach will have a different approach, style, and personality they are bringing to their programs. Just like in any other setting, you’re more likely to change and listen to those people you trust and respect. Take some time and “date” a coach by reading their blogs, listening to their podcasts, attending their live trainings, reading their books. If you’re picking up what they’re putting down, then you know you’re ready to take the coaching relationship to the next level.
A dating coach may have a background in therapy, but that doesn’t mean their job is to fix you. A coach is there to motivate and educate. Most of the time my clients just need my help “calming the crazy” that gets stirred up in dating. They need a voice of reason to guide them to actionable steps, not a listening ear for them to rehash their “Daddy-issues” with.
One of my biggest pet peeves are my clients who keep me to themselves. Their friends are struggling and suffering in the dating trenches right next to them, yet some clients hate to admit that they’re “seeing someone” who is helping them with their dating. If you really love your friends and you find something that works for you, don’t be afraid (or ashamed) to share the love and spare them the suffering you just escaped from.
Successful dating coaches have earned their lessons from the dating school of hard knocks. They have also seen their methods practiced and perfected by their clients. They know what works. They’ve streamlined the processes. They’ve minimized the drama. They have packaged it well, and prepared it just for you. Hashing things out with your gaggle of girlfriends isn’t going to get you where and with whom you want. If you really want your love life to be different, suck it up and pay the price of change. Investing in yourself is never a mistake.
Just like a personal trainer can’t lose weight for you, neither can a dating coach do the real work of dating for you. You have to do it for yourself. Your coach can guide you, but if you come across someone promising you success without effort, you may as well buy those late night infomercial pills promising 40 pounds off in a week or less. It’s just not going to happen.
Seriously. When I ask my clients to do something and they don’t (or won’t), I’m totally baffled. Do they think I’m trying to kill them? It may seem like some of my requests are scary, but that’s part of the program. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got!
Sometimes dating can make us a little… desperate. It’s never a good idea to make big decisions when you’re desperate, especially when it comes to investing in a dating coach or program. Most legitimate coaches will have lots of content, articles, videos, and trainings available for free, or at a low cost. Checking those out first will keep you from making a costly jump into something you weren’t expecting.
When you first start a dating program you’re going to have A LOT of new content thrown at you. It’s natural. You’re learning a new skill set, afterall. With all that information, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Most coaching programs will give you access to content for a year or longer. Take advantage of this! Reviewing training often will help you notice things maybe you weren’t ready for before.
Finding true love can be elusive, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a fight worth fighting! Dating coaches and programs can be the people in your corner pumping you up to get back in there and keep going. Dating coaches are not magic pills, nor do they usually provide unconditional guarantees. But they can be there for you when the going gets tough. And really, you can’t talk to your Mom about your love life anyway.
Find a Dating Coach with content and a style that resonates with you, but be prepared to work! We’re the personal trainers of your love life, here to support, motivate, and educate you on your path to finding true love.